Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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