i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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