it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
