you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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