She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
