im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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