Pappa wants mamma naked
another moral hangover. fuck.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize