umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Randomize
