I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
we're so committed to being not committed
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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