I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
