its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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