It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
