Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
