But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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