i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i just had sex bonerless
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
