Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
what the fuck happened to the tacos
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
