Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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