cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
