seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
