just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
