I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
