You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She bit a glass in half.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We are all done wearing pants today
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
