I take back everything I said about communal showers
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
