I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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