THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
