Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
