No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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