Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
