Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
