may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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