im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
