Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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