i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
