I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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