I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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