She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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