By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
