dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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