i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
