Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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