Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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