you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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