I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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