remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize