She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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