I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
