I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I lost the right to judge tonight
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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