I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
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