Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
