that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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