Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
