i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
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