Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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