I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
