you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
