The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
