We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
