Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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