I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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