If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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