The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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