I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
