i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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