If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
