his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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